*edit: went to spend Halloween at Natalie's after
I feel like myself again right at this moment F I N A L L Y
what happened today:
If I keep feeling like this, I can bring myself back. THANK YOU JESUS.
I had my second shroom trip yesterday, a week after my first one
2.3 grams lemon tek
It was an incredibly painful, but potentially necessary, trip. I won't be too detailed but I'll jot down main moments
I've been taking meditation a lot more seriously since Mama and I have been staying at Sa-ee's place, and I actually think it's helping subtly. I feel calmer and like I have more agency over my heavy/frenetic emotions. I don't know if it's a placebo effect, but I'm slowly being able to breathe through my emotions and "push" them to the side. They exist but I can also exist seperate from them.
I can only imagine what would happen if I kept this up for months and years. Essentially I want to feel like I'm on shrooms without needing to be on shrooms.
at Sa-ee's with Mama
going to look up meditation
Yesterday I tripped on mushrooms.
Mama was my tripsitter.
Wednesday night before
lemon tek 1:20
"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."