sabs
  • videos
    • collage animations
    • music videos
    • people
    • specs
  • social
    • kids content
    • web series
    • gifs
  • multimedia
    • collages
    • hungry eyes
    • hungryeyez.com
  • contact

LIBERATING WASTE: A FIRST WORLD DILEMMA

9/29/2016

0 Comments

 
In the context of my refrigerator-less, microwave-less dorm:
​I throw away the ends of pre-portioned take-out here and there to curb temptation. If I know I'm going to regret it in my body the second I swallow, then it might as well be trash. 

Sort of like reverse bulimia: I purge before I eat

There's no doubt I'm being wasteful; the frugal side of me is just shaking her head.
BUT I don't feel wasteful.
Shitty of me to say, but I actually feel proud. I'm that much closer to finally gaining control of my physicality. 
It's hard to quantify the positives (self-image) in regards to the negatives (wasting food) when one is emotionally tied, while the other is a tangible first-world-privilege dilemma. 
All I know is that I feel better.

TLDR: I LOVE FOOD so much that I cannot avoid it unless it is inedible aka trash. Woe is me.
0 Comments

MY RIDE OR DIE

9/26/2016

0 Comments

 
I've been sulking away in my head about not having a ride or die, but I do. 
Some people spend forever searching for what I've been lucky to be born with.
my mom
my dad
my brothers
my aunt
Sometimes the best realizations are the simple ones.
​And I am so beyond lucky. 
0 Comments

September 25th, 2016

9/25/2016

0 Comments

 
▪Over the weather because I'm under it▪
▪Living in a ghost town▪
▪When I'm so done feeling like shit▪
▪I'd rather regret the things I've done than the things I haven't done▪
▪Feeling so fucking sad then Mattel calls (aka Joanne texts)▪
▪Don't dream it, be it (Rocky Horror)▪
0 Comments

SCHOOL 2016-2017 LOVES

9/20/2016

0 Comments

 
👁
​Adventures in Babysitting
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (N
uart)
Bride of Frankenstein
UCLA CMF 2016
​Ghost World
The Space Between Us
​Django Unchained
​Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
​Carrie (1976)
​Blow Out
Fallen Angels
Kill Bill: Vol. 1
​Gravity
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Black Mirror 
📺
​Tangerine

Little Miss Sunshine
Chungking Express
Her
When Harry Met Sally...
​La La Land
​Birdman
Romy and Michele's High School Reunion
​Dear Angelica
Beauty and the Beast (live action)
The Comeback 📺
​Radio Days
Saturday Night Fever
The Graduate
​Rosemary's Baby
​Tootsie
Being John Malkovich
​Paris is Burning
0 Comments

OFF THE GRID/PLAYING THE FOOL

9/20/2016

0 Comments

 
I don't know if I want to film everything I do, documenting every moment like it's the most I'll ever get.
Because then I'm not left with memories. I'm left with video clips.
Which I then compile into this one video I obsess over aesthetically and existentially, and then I'm wasting present time over the past.
I don't know.
Maybe I will pick up my camera for the YES moments, but I'll try not to romanticize the everyday for my own sanity. 

As a continuation of yesterday's post, I'm so tired of comparing myself to anything I am not at the moment. It's so degrading and it's only enabling the Sabrina-deprecation acts. I never wanted to play the fool.
0 Comments

SALAD DAYS

9/19/2016

0 Comments

 
I'm in a weight loss rut
  • because I've plateaued
  • because the 7 lbs I lost this summer is still far from where I want to be
  • because I've been hypocritically binging and purging to compensate for my lack of resolve
  • because I'm realizing my physical aspirations aren't mutually exclusive from my internal health and lifestyle
  • because I feel like shit
And I can't believe I'm saying this, but the vegan lifestyle is becoming more and more attractive to me everyday. I honestly don't think it's something I can sustain for long, but I might try to adapt to some vegan/vegetarian habits here and there.

I'm just so tired of my physical insecurities and my exponentially deteriorating health (vision, hearing, skin, etc.). It's honestly getting old and I have no excuses. I just want to feel good and be happy gosh dammit.

I guess this marks a baby step into the dark abyss of adulting. Hopefully I'll make a giant leap when I actually commit. 

0 Comments

"I WISH THERE WAS A WAY TO KNOW YOU'RE IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS BEFORE YOU'VE ACTUALLY LEFT THEM" -ANDY BERNARD

9/18/2016

0 Comments

 
Feeling this quote so hard right now.
0 Comments

LAST OF THE FIRST

9/17/2016

0 Comments

 
Yesterday was my last day of my first job/internship: 
  • Kicked my confidence in the ass
  • Never experienced more cringeworthy interactions
  • Lectured twice by the sound guy
  • Edited 2 videos that will never be posted [update: it's 1 now]
  • Cravings tested to their limits
  • Film aspirations faltered here and there
But it was the best thing to happen to me this summer.
Thursday 9/15 [1 day before I go]: The Best Day 
11:30am Went out to lunch with the boss and the 2 mentors. Mexican food. I was nervous. It was nice. They told me to not be a stranger. I'll try.
2:30pm September Birthdays celebration. Tiff and I made up the MCS party planning committee on a run to Ralphs buying 2 cakes (1 red velvet, 1 chocolate), 1 pack of mini pumpkin spice cupcakes, 2 packs of cookies, and 3 jars of gelato totaling $50. I thought it was too little. She thought it might be too much.
3:15pm We set up in the kitchen. 
3:30pm Followed Tiff back into the office then headed towards the kitchen. She needed to go use the restroom. I didn't want to dumbly wait for her, so I went in alone. Social anxiety's a bitch. A few MCS members were already there, but not an intimidating amount, so I plopped down on a chair. Jokes. Small talk. The bitch disappeared. Boss makes an announcement that I'm leaving the next day. A chorus of awes.
3:45pm Most people had filed in at this point. Birthday celebrants present and missing accounted for. Eyes on the sweets. 
Lost track It was one of those slow motion moments: laughing, making jokes, singing Happy Birthday, blowing out candles...for the first time, I was with people, not coworkers. It was fucking great. And Tiff was right: there was a lot leftover.

Dear Mattel,
Thank you so much for all of it:
  • PA'd on 'professional' sets
  • Learned to edit on Premiere
  • Attended company events
  • Puppies in the office
  • Free food all day everyday
  • The characters I met (both people and toys alike)
  • Having a purpose
Thank you so very much ❤️
0 Comments

QUEEN OF DISASTER

9/4/2016

0 Comments

 
Just a string of random updates:
  1. ​My body's getting there, haven't been this weight since middle school
  2. Meanwhile my eyesight and hearing have never been worse; blindness and tinnitus
  3. Got my thrift store road trip after all
  4. First time driving on the freeway-American Money blasting-and it was pretty tame
  5. Going to buy tickets to see Amélie [the musical]
  6. Zooppa video contest round 2: Kikkoman Asian Inspiration {finger's crossed!}
  7. 2 more weeks left with Mattel
  8. 2 more weeks 'til I go back to UCLA
0 Comments

September 04th, 2016

9/4/2016

0 Comments

 
▪Humility and humiliation (Church)▪
▪When Buzzfeed wants to interview you▪
​▪Bonding over bulimic tendencies▪
0 Comments
    "I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."
    ​-Alice Kingsley

    Archives

    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016

    Categories

    All
    Blog
    Like The Movies
    Losing Wait
    Musings & Moments
    [non]fiction
    Poetry
    Therapy
    Well

    RSS Feed

  • videos
    • collage animations
    • music videos
    • people
    • specs
  • social
    • kids content
    • web series
    • gifs
  • multimedia
    • collages
    • hungry eyes
    • hungryeyez.com
  • contact