I know he isn't the first
And he won't be the last
But that boyish smile devastates me every time

And I'm not one for talk
Thoughts are scarce when they're directed at him
I'm scarce around him
The silence teases my insecurities
An insecure girl too insecure to handle her own insecurities

So I know there isn't a fantasy to chase
That he'll never be mine
And God she looks better with him than I ever could
The mischief in her eyes matches his
They'd be perfect

But it was nice last night when we were imperfect

The sweet tinge of flavor on my tongue, followed by a forced swallow. Knowing that I'm going to taste it all again when it all comes out.
A conscious unconsciousness.

"Has anyone told you you look beautiful today?" him casually, platonically
"You probably told that to everyone on set" me confused, amused
"No, like as an artist I appreciate beauty [etc. etc.]" him
I felt flattered but still keep trying to figure out what he meant even though he already told me.

"bleeding out the screens"
"we're good at making dystopias but not aspirations"
"sci-fi = fears of past mixed with wonders of the future"
"we existed like that"

I introduced Natalie to Halsey on the bus ride back from The 1975 concert.

Today, we went to go see her in concert and it was fucking amazing.

• first successful glitter application (still working on false lashes)
• we were able to make our connecting bus
• getting free tickets closer to the stage
• Charlie XCX 
• cameos from Lauren and G-Eazy
• Halsey playing most of the songs from both albums
• buying $60 sweater merch (no regrets)
• Diddy Riese back in Westwood

Takeaways:

1. Halsey is a beautiful soul
2. I loved every inch of tonight and I'm loving life 

And so it must be better than I think it is 💕