I feel like we are

I keep thinking I deserve some giant movie moment, that I'm special, and it's finally time for me to get everything I ever wanted.

But I really need to take a step back and just be happy with what I have. I'm over pity parties, filling in blanks with melodramatic imagination, allowing someone else to control how I feel, etcetera.

It's time to be a big girl and let go.

Loving him is like feeling my heart full and break all at once

The last few weeks of my 21st have been the fullest and happiest. I'm past the point of expectation because, for some reason, reality keeps exceeding fantasy. I know happiness is fleeting, but I now have a taste of feeling like the luckiest girl alive and it feels damn good.

I can't wait for what 22 will bring ✨

At night
my heart is smiling

I told him and he didn't feel the same, but it's ok because he believes in me and I believe in him. He better be in my life forever.

When I was crying
"I'm so scared that knowing he doesn't feel the same will erase all the positive he's given me"

the Holy Trinity of UCLA Digital Media
​[at last]

✨ gaining control of my emotions finally ✨

Waiting for him makes my heart feel like it's about to explode
The only time I'm ok is when he's here
​I don't know if I've ever felt this crazy before
I doubt he feels the same.

It hurts always thinking that I can't make him happy.

I'm so sorry I can't be the girl you need.