In the context of my refrigerator-less, microwave-less dorm:
I throw away the ends of pre-portioned take-out here and there to curb temptation. If I know I'm going to regret it in my body the second I swallow, then it might as well be trash. Sort of like reverse bulimia: I purge before I eat There's no doubt I'm being wasteful; the frugal side of me is just shaking her head. BUT I don't feel wasteful. Shitty of me to say, but I actually feel proud. I'm that much closer to finally gaining control of my physicality. It's hard to quantify the positives (self-image) in regards to the negatives (wasting food) when one is emotionally tied, while the other is a tangible first-world-privilege dilemma. All I know is that I feel better. TLDR: I LOVE FOOD so much that I cannot avoid it unless it is inedible aka trash. Woe is me.
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"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."
-Alice Kingsley Archives
September 2020
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