Just got back from Thanksgiving break in NorCal with Mama, Tyle & Anthony. Got to catch up with Joanna too.
I think I can really feel new inklings of acceptance and understanding in me. I don't know how to articulate it, and I don't know if I even care to try. I guess the best way to describe it is that things feel manageable now. I feel like there are longer pauses between an action and my reaction. Like I can catch my breath before the air around me gets too tight.
I feel loved. Not like I found love. But that I can feel the love that has been there all along. The love that I already earned. That people have been trying to get me to see all this time.
I'm not blinded by a delusional high, I'm grounded in the very real norm, and I'm learning that this can be enough.
"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."