STILL WAITING

I'm so exhausted. I've been filled with anxiety, paranoia, self-insecurity over EVERYTHING for the past few months and it has gotten way out of hand. I'm praying now that Auntie Pacita and Auntie Virginia can get rid of whatever is gripping me so tight.

SYMPTOMS:

1. deteriorating relationships
2. lack of control over negative thoughts 
3. bulimia
4. loss of passion/creativity
5. losing faith
6. loss of self-confidence
7. bursts of anger
8. depression
9. anxiety
10. suicidal ideation
11. becoming unattractive
12. sensitivity over media
13. jealousy over everyone
14. OCD tendencies; I don't want to do anything because I can't make everything perfect
15. constantly feeling like I'm in a nightmare
16. feeling stuck

I've given up so many times. I'm weak and lazy I'll admit. I don't want to do anything. This is too much for me to handle on my own. Mama says this isn't me. It feels like me, but it can't be. She has to be right. I pray that all of this will go away soon.