"What was once before you - an exciting, mysterious future - is now behind you. Lived; understood; disappointing. You realize you are not special. You have struggled into existence, and are now slipping silently out of it."
-Synechdoche, New York
I could cry if I talked to the right person right now
she thinks it's love
she knows it's love
she hopes it's love
she tells herself this has to be it
there can't be anyone past him
if it feels right, then it is right
she imagines calling him baby
having him there next to her always
he's all she ever wanted
she's not all he ever wanted
so all the "meant to be's"
she's heard of heartbreak
but now she feels it
it's a screaming pain
it'll start to fade
she can only hold on to imagination for so long
and when she lets go, she'll see that
it was never meant to be
if he never felt it
so she'll move on
because the sooner she moves on,
the sooner she'll find the one
Ok, no more cryptic posts.
Because I told you that "whenever I talk about shooting my shot, it's about you"
Because you told me you only see us as platonic, not romantic, which is totally fine
But then we get along so well and you make me laugh and you take all my heavy and make it light
And then you mention "shoot your shot" 3 damn separate times when I'm trying so hard to play it cool
You didn't lead me on before, but how can you fucking tell me that this isn't a huge lead on?
That bringing up the phrase "shoot your shot" THE PHRASE THAT I EXPLICITLY MADE CLEAR IS ABOUT ME LIKING YOU is just platonic?
Because the thing is, if a guy liked me, but I didn't like him back, I wouldn't keep bringing up his damn confession over and over and over.
And what did you expect? I'm a dreamer. Of course I would internalize, and dream up the idea that you feel the same, that you were just testing the waters (seeing my reaction) before you dived in, but now I'm not so sure, and it fucking sucks
It sucks because it would be so much easier to get over you, if you didn't let me like you
But you do, and I like you so much more for it
I told you that I always want what I can't have, but you're the first I would want if I could just have you
Fuck you because I love you.
The situation is simple, but I'm confused in my head
I think there is an expiration to "worth the wait,"
and I feel like I'm approaching it
I keep waiting
I think he's giving hints but he's not doing anything
I'm just filling in blanks that meant nothing to begin with
For some reason I keep hoping that he's as hurt/confused as I am
That maybe he feels the same, but is too scared that I'm over it and that I'll hurt him
But if he really felt the same, the potential hurt would be worth the risk
Just shoot your shot already
I'm not going anywhere
"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."