September 10th, 2019

LOG

• woke up feeling calmer/not as low as usual (i do feel like i have some control over ignoring the sinking feelings now)
• Kym reached out for another edit
• plan on watching Gordon Ramsay/Netflix

WHAT HELPS

• praying rosary
• subliminals while sleeping/sleeping on bay leaf
• cooler weather (70s weather highs for the first time in months)
• the kindest listeners from 7 cups

FEELINGS

• depression/anxiety feels like you're constantly running out of time, that things keep getting worse if they're not getting better, and that it's rare to actually feel like anything is getting better
• telling myself i will be ok feels like a lie
• my only redeeming factor is that i'm still here, friends have no idea how bad it's gotten