May 10th, 2019

i'm finding it hard to feel motivated to do much of anything

and anything i am doing often feels either like i'm being taken advantage of or there's no point

i don't like how i'm feeling so defensive as of late

i'm constantly frustrated

everything i do feels like a chore, an obligation

i miss getting excited to work on a selfish project

i hate that i'm wasting time just thinking and not doing

i hate how a lot of how i feel is tied to how i look or is it vice versa?

i'm tired of feeling undervalued but simultaneously insecure

i hate how it's so hard to rely on others, but it's just as hard to rely on yourself

i just want to move past this already

*edit* the whole world has a way of making everything shiny and new feel dull and disappointing