May 10th, 2019
i'm finding it hard to feel motivated to do much of anything
and anything i am doing often feels either like i'm being taken advantage of or there's no point
i don't like how i'm feeling so defensive as of late
i'm constantly frustrated
everything i do feels like a chore, an obligation
i miss getting excited to work on a selfish project
i hate that i'm wasting time just thinking and not doing
i hate how a lot of how i feel is tied to how i look or is it vice versa?
i'm tired of feeling undervalued but simultaneously insecure
i hate how it's so hard to rely on others, but it's just as hard to rely on yourself
i just want to move past this already
*edit* the whole world has a way of making everything shiny and new feel dull and disappointing
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