for the first time in a long time she was speechless
words no longer sufficed the pain of her heart pressed heavier than the weight of her voice it was excruciating it was sublime to be able to feel the fissures of her existence stretched to its limits it was human to the core existential she felt privileged a low that felt high a high that felt infinite and as much as it tamed her she desired for everything to cease existing the memories of when they first met his presence invasive her predisposition shy his eyes digging her refusal to reciprocate the flashes of his camera she didn’t like his naked eye but his third eye she didn’t resist and she didn’t know it then but she had fallen hard at first it felt like relief a free spirit letting her walls down for once “You opened up my mind” she told him “Now you have to open up the rest of me” the second time the third time the fourth the fifth the sixth the seventh each time they met she was sure it would be the last and each time her heart soared suffered mourned healed then broke again and each time she had so much to say as if volume of words would convey volume of desire volume of pain but her words never did much one word from him did more than a thousand from her his silence echoed louder than her screams so for the first time in a long time she was speechless words no longer sufficed and the pain of her heart pressed heavier than the weight of her voice *written while listening to this song*
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"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."
-Alice Kingsley Archives
September 2020
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