SHITTY AFTERTASTE

I've been trying lately to let things be, but I still find myself falling and tripping and stumbling here and there leaving me with shitty aftertastes left and right:

1. Thinking about food all day
2. Forcing myself to throw up
3. Binging with the expectation of throwing up only to have my roommate come into the room too soon to do so 
4. Responding to "what's up" with "good"
5. Using my phone to appear occupied
6. Forced conversations
7. Awkwardly trailing off to end a conversation
8. Being stressed about classes, but procrastinating to actually do the work
9. Sleeping late not because I was productive but because I kept telling myself I would eventually start in the next hour or so
10. Dreaming about him and his failed pizza delivery

I feel myself falling through the cracks I'm trying to patch, but I will patch them gosh dammit even if it means putting a huge bandaid over all of it.