I don't know if I want to film everything I do, documenting every moment like it's the most I'll ever get.
Because then I'm not left with memories. I'm left with video clips.
Which I then compile into this one video I obsess over aesthetically and existentially, and then I'm wasting present time over the past.
I don't know.
Maybe I will pick up my camera for the YES moments, but I'll try not to romanticize the everyday for my own sanity.
As a continuation of yesterday's post, I'm so tired of comparing myself to anything I am not at the moment. It's so degrading and it's only enabling the Sabrina-deprecation acts. I never wanted to play the fool.
"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."