I've been taking meditation a lot more seriously since Mama and I have been staying at Sa-ee's place, and I actually think it's helping subtly. I feel calmer and like I have more agency over my heavy/frenetic emotions. I don't know if it's a placebo effect, but I'm slowly being able to breathe through my emotions and "push" them to the side. They exist but I can also exist seperate from them.
I can only imagine what would happen if I kept this up for months and years. Essentially I want to feel like I'm on shrooms without needing to be on shrooms.
"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."