I am completely broken and shattered at this point. I was stressed out a month ago, burnt out a week ago, and now I'm paralyzed in anxiety and self-hate. I hate admitting that I can't-that I can't handle the pressures placed upon me. I can't handle rejection. I can't handle people.
And it hurts so damn much to go from believing everything was possible to thinking that nothing is.
I know I'm depressed, panicked, anxious, but I feel too weak to make it all go away. I wish so badly that I could go back just a little and undo it all before it got this bad. I wish I could protect myself from how self-destructive this has all been. But the more I run things through my fickle head, the more I realize that I couldn't have, which actually makes it worse.
"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."